ACCORDING to YouGov, I should be a raving Tory by now. The internet-based research organisation calculates that people are eight per cent more likely to vote Tory for every ten years older they get.

Fewer than one in five people aged 65 to 75 identify as Labour – a figure that drops to one in ten for those over 75.

By that calculation, I should be 24 per cent more Tory than I was at 30. While my voting intentions this time round remain unresolved, I can confidently state for the record that I remain no per cent Conservative, zero, zilch, nought and nowt per cent Tory. Not one iota Tory. There is not a single grain of Tory sand in my castle.

Well, I am sure you get the idea. I always disliked Margaret Thatcher but at least she had a philosophy. Mrs Maybe remains a political vacuum to be filled with whatever suits the moment. I honestly don’t know what she believes other than that she’s the best woman to sort out Brexit (which she opposed until she didn’t) and to do that she needs to win a strong mandate in the election (which she swore blind 11 times she wasn’t going to hold, until she did).

I may have my doubts about Jeremy Corbyn, but there is just no way I could vote Tory unless my voting hand became possessed and took on a life of its own. Couldn’t do it – not in 100 years (by which time I should be a truly toxic Tory, if YouGov has done the electoral maths right).

Many of this morning’s newspapers are splashed in blue, as you would expect, after the local election results.I won’t bother passing them on: you could probably make them up.

Here are two thoughts: at least the purple gang seems to be disappearing. UKIP always was a single-issue party, and now that it’s got its way over Europe, it no longer has a reason to exist. Unlike its former leader Nigel Farage, who still has a reason to exist: finding new ways to infuriate in that unique Farage way.

UKIP is a pimple on the bottom of British life – and now that zit is about to burst, but it hasn’t half made a mess.

The other thought comes from research in this morning’s Guardian, where the main headline has Corbyn admitting that he faces an historic challenge. So much, so unsurprising. What is interesting is the paper’s argument that Britain was evenly divided, with the Tories and UKIP taking 43 per cent of the vote while Labour and the Liberal Democrats received 45 per cent.

So that love affair with Mrs Maybe you hear proclaimed everywhere is not as ardent as it may seem

Against that, though, is the incidental evidence of people being interviewed on television who keep saying things like: “I always vote Labour but this time I am voting for Mrs May.”

I honestly don’t understand that, but perhaps I am just an old leftie without a cause.