WHILE Trump tweets the end of the world, I am going to go and hide on a squash court.
The behaviour of the US president is unsurprising by now. We are used to the Twitter rows – all infantile insult, belligerent swagger and primary-school syntax.
Sadly, we are no longer surprised that one of the world’s “great men” should choose to communicate by Twitter.
The international fall-out from the latest gas attack in Syria heralds relatively subtle political arguments in this country about whether Theresa May has to hold a Parliamentary vote before agreeing to join any US military strike.
Over in the president’s bedroom – or wherever it is he tweets from; the loo, perhaps (apologies for the appalling mental image) – it’s all down to Trump’s tiny tweeting fingers.
His latest incendiary tweet is much discussed in today’s newspapers. It’s a classic of how not to conduct yourself in a diplomatic manner. It goes like this: “Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!”
“We all knew, didn’t we, that this is what a Trump presidency would be like? But it still comes as a sobering shock to see the world teeter on a tweet”
No pause for doubt or fact-checking; no hesitating over consequences. Just tweet and be damned.
We all knew, didn’t we, that this is what a Trump presidency would be like? But it still comes as a sobering shock to see the world teeter on a tweet.
Here’s my biggest worry: as an arch narcissist Trump can’t imagine that the world will continue after he dies. The thought that everything might continue once he has gone will be too much to bear. So he might we well take the world with him.
Extreme, I know, but it is a worry.
ON NOW to squash. I am very taken by Eilidh Bridgeman and Caroline Laing, the Cayman Islands’ women’s squash doubles pairing at the Commonwealth Games.
They were defeated in their three pool games lasting no more than 12 minutes, giving up 66 points and scoring a modest 10.
In their final fixture, they lost 20 points in a row without reply, then eventually won one point – and this “prompted cheers from their own coach and timid smiles of their own”, according to the BBC sport website.
Laing said: “I was really hoping we would get a point, either through a mistake or because we won a point just so we could relax.”
Oh, how I feel their pain.
Reportedly, the match was “brutal yet inspiring to witness”. Unlike some of my matches that are brutal yet uninspiring to witness.
I’ve played squash for more than 30 years now, and I’m still not much cop. But never mind, it’s good exercise and I’ve almost learned not to throw my racquet about (broke too many).
Yesterday’s score against the opponent I never beat – Phil the Invincible – was 4-1, although I nearly snatched a magnificent defeat of 3-2. Last week, against Mike the Usually Valiant, I won 3-0 and that hardly even happens.
As for Trump and his tweeting fingers, do you think squash courts are bomb-proof by any chance?