When it comes to the royals, the BBC has always mixed deference with nervousness about being told off for getting something wrong.

After the Queen Mother died in 2002, the veteran newsreader Peter Sissons, who incidentally went to school with Paul McCartney, was criticised for wearing a burgundy rather than a black tie. He had been tripped up by a change of BBC policy and thought he had chosen the required tie.

Perhaps more interestingly, and unknown to the public at the time, the last words in his ear as he went on air were: “Don’t go overboard. She’s a very old woman who had to go some time.” (Guardian long read, by Sam Knight, March 17, 2017).

Thanks to the same source for the information that after the event, “130 people complained to the BBC about its insensitive coverage of the Queen Mother’s death; another 1,500 complained that Casualty was moved to BBC2”.

Both stories fit the moment, although if you want to know what’s on the BBC news, you will have to ask someone else. I gave up watching or listening days ago.

None of this is intended as a discourtesy to Queen Elizabeth, a remarkable monarch who earned the long yards of respect her death has unrolled. She modernised the monarchy, while satisfying Britain’s love of tradition and pageantry, even if those traditions are largely invented. She was a steady point in a changing world, a unifying thread through 70 years of British life – not so much a golden thread as a no-nonsense thread, sewn through the cloth of different times, helping to hold things together.

There has been much coverage of the Queen’s death, some of it very good. This sort of journalism is hard work, even though it has been long in the oven, as it were, waiting for the expected day finally to fall.

The Elizabeth II supplement in last Saturday’s Guardian contained great writing and good photographs. The photographs include what for my money is the only one you need. Taken by Anwar Hussein for Getty in 2005, it shows the Queen giggling as she encountered Prince Philip in uniform at Buckingham Palace, in what seems to have been a loving prank.

But I’ve stopped reading now, as perhaps you have too. This is not intended to offend those who are still reading and watching, but after the fitting sombreness of the BBC’s announcement of the Queen’s death, it’s all become a bit much. There are only so many times you can hear the same story, however sadly momentous the occasion.

Isn’t there almost a risk that, as King Charles III begins his reign, all the wall-to-wall mourning by decree might actually put some people off the monarchy? Telling people how they should be feeling is tricky, as they might resent the pressure, or decide to feel something else instead. Even though many are indeed feeling sad.

The events being cancelled out of respect make for a curious list too. Centre Parcs originally said that next Monday, on the day of Queen Elizabeth’s funeral, holidaymakers who had already booked would have to leave its sites to return the following day, out of respect. The company backtracked after a perfectly understandable furore.

Other marks of respect include turning down the checkout bleeps at Morrisons, and British Cycling telling cyclists not to cycle on Monday – advice reversed after some backpedalling. Wetherspoons has not, however, banned the sale of condoms, ‘news’ relayed in a widely shared spoof on Twitter.

One cancellation seems strangest of all. The composer Judith Weir, who was Master of the Queen’s Music, but who now masters the King’s tunes, said on BBC Radio Four’s Broadcasting House last Sunday that she felt it was a shame the Last Night Of The Proms had been cancelled.

That thought had already struck me. What a fine occasion that would have been to celebrate the late Queen’s life, a flag-waving burst of music, song, and patriotism. Not all exactly to my taste, it is true, but an opportunity royally missed.

As for the (very few) anti-royal protesters reportedly being arrested or moved on, that shows how the government’s authoritarian tendencies can backfire. Trying to silence someone accidentally amplifies what they are saying. And, besides, people should be free to protest if they wish, just as people should be free to honour the late Queen if they wish, as many are doing.