Reality of separation… and that Brexit bog roll

ONE day perhaps we will no longer have to mutter the words ‘Brexit’ or ‘Trump’. Sadly, that day hasn’t dawned yet.

To begin, here is a footnote to the appalling separation of illegal migrants and their children at the Mexican border.

The past week saw this practice rescinded by the very man who caused it. President Trump was prodded to act after desperately sad photographs of crying children were published by what he no doubt considers to be the “lying, fake-news media”.

He even expressed his distaste for separating children from their migrant parents – as if it had nothing to do with him. In a similar display of appalling chutzpah, Theresa May yesterday attended a service of celebration for the Windrush generation – the very people who have suffered terrible collateral damage thanks to her immigration policy. It’s a wonder they let her through the doors.

On the BBC website you will find a short video explaining the reality of a child being separated from their parent at the border.

Cisary Banz Reynaud-Villeda entered the US illegally on June 13 and was detained along with his eight-year-old daughter. The BBC video clip reports that authorities took her away to another centre, and he has not spoken to her since.

“It’s a shock – like being hit with a bucket of cold water,” Cisary tells the BBC in a phone interview from a jail in Texas. He says that his daughter was clinging to his leg when they pulled her away.

Just one more piece of the jigsaw of shame that is Donald Trump and his heartless immigration policy. Forget the blizzard of distracting tweets; forget the endless contradictions; forget the attention-seeking soap opera. Instead just concentrate on what an appalling man America has for a president.

It is being reported that Trump will be granted a full state visit after Brexit: an unearned honour for a dishonourable man. Still, perhaps “after Brexit” will be a long way off.

The pro-Brexit newspapers this morning mark the second anniversary of the referendum with the usual guff. First prize for absurdity goes to The Sun for placing Boris Johnson’s face on a toilet roll – a fitting location, it is true.

“Boris warns PM not to deliver a…BOG ROLL BREXIT,” chunters the headline.

Below this frankly disturbing image, is a quote from an article Johnson has written for the newspaper: “Britain doesn’t want deal that is soft, yielding and infinitely long.”

Inside there is another visual association of the Foreign Secretary and the stuff used to wipe bottoms: “Say no to Andrexit.”

If I might descend to the mood of the piece, I guess you need lots of toilet paper when you are dealing with a load of shit.

The Daily Express rolls out its own pro-Brexit bog roll with: “OUR FANTASTIC FUTURE OUT OF EU.”

Oh, hold me back before I shred my nerves with excitement. What can this be based on? An interview with David Davis, that’s what. You know, the bumbler in charge of ‘delivering’ Brexit. Yes, David Deliveroo; except he keeps getting flat tyres and the takeaway went cold long ago.

“We’ll look back and wonder why we ever doubted Brexit,” says Davis, the man brilliantly immortalised in the Radio 4 comedy Deadringers as the Brexit Bulldog, forever phoning Theresa May only to get the answer-phone again.

In the ‘exclusive’ piece, Davis says something so dumb it might almost come from a Deadringers’ script. Here is a quote from the Express article: “Mr Davis said Brexit Britain would benefit from English being ‘the best language in the world for doing commerce, science and medicine and so on’”.

There you have it. Brexit is going to be a wonderful success because we speak English. And if we shout a big louder, we might just manage to order a coffee.

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