DO you remember the woman who shouted at a cup of tea? This was before lockdown so her anger wasn’t caused by confinement or the pubs being shut or anything.
Sue became agitated on Twitter after Rishi Sunak, who’d just been promoted to Chancellor, put out a photo of himself making tea for his team, while holding a mini-sack of Yorkshire Tea teabags.
This caused the sort of row that occurs when people have nothing better to do. Rishi the tea-boy Chancellor might have believed he was celebrating his work experience stint at the Treasury but plenty of people on Twitter thought it was a disgrace and vowed never to buy Yorkshire Tea again.
Those attacking Yorkshire Tea were mostly from my end of the political woods, left-leaning grumblers who instinctively dislike Tories.
Disparaging Tories can be a habit almost as ingrained as tea-drinking but some of those laying into Yorkshire Tea took everything a bit far. The company insisted it had not entered into a diabolical tea-cosy pact with the Tories, saying it had known nothing about the photo.
This wasn’t enough for Sue, who rattled and shook like an over-filled kettle until the social media people at Yorkshire Tea silenced her with a clever line: “Sue, you’re shouting at tea…”
This instantly became a meme. Good on Yorkshire Tea, even though I don’t partake. Are you even allowed to admit that in Yorkshire? I prefer loose tea spooned from the tin.
Now Priti Patel is shouting at ice cream.
I am sorry to bring the Home Secretary back into this blog’s cast list of deplorables, but it’s proving to be her week.
There she was, trying to out-do Nigel Farage in bellowing about migrants while standing on the shore at Dover, and thinking, my it’s hot, I could do with an ice cream, when the official Ben and Jerry’s UK Twitter account put her right off the idea (the ice cream, not being intolerant about poor and vulnerable people).
Ben and Jerry’s posted several tweets tagging the home secretary, beginning with: “Hey @PritiPatel, we think the real crisis is our lack of humanity for people fleeing war, climate change and torture.”
This was followed by others such as “People wouldn’t make dangerous journeys if they had any other choice” and “People cannot be illegal.”
Wow, more sense from the freezer section of the supermarket than from Boris and the Brexit Botch gang.
A Home Office source told the BBC Priti Patel was “working day and night to bring an end to these small boat crossings, which are facilitated by international criminal gangs and are rightly of serious concern to the British people”.
The spokes-waffler added: “If that means upsetting the social media team for a brand of overpriced junk food, then so be it.”
Two passing observations on that double-scoop…
ONE: Get a sense of humour, lightness or perspective and don’t shout at ice cream.
TWO: Stop saying “the British people” every time you want to excuse shabby behaviour. By accident of birth, I number among them and hate hearing that. The British people deserve better than being dragged in as backing vocalists to your nastiest tunes.
At least Foreign Office minister James Cleverly didn’t enter the debate by saying something stupid. Oh, hang on, he did, tweeting: “Can I have a large scoop of statistically inaccurate virtue signalling with my grossly overpriced ice cream, please?”
I guess Ben and Jerry’s won’t be on the menu at the next Cabinet picnic.